Pastors, have you ever preached a sermon against domestic violence? Odds are, you haven’t. I’ve listened to approximately 4,000 sermons and have yet to hear a pastor condemn domestic violence from the pulpit.
Southern preachers prefer to pontificate on matters like abortion and homosexuality. Sometimes they rail against feminism. On occasion they preach against pornography, using the occasion to slam churchwomen over immodest attire. In every denomination, pastors preach often enough on tithing, and never fail to pass the plate. Yet they fail at addressing an issue faced by approximately one fourth of their congregation.
Recently a wildly popular pastor shoved the problem of Christian violence into the spotlight when he choked, kicked and stomped his wife in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. In the South, beating your wife may or may not be a crime. Records show that the most common law enforcement response to domestic violence is “separating the parties.” Victims rarely press charges because they fear reprisal. Law enforcement rarely presses their own charges (though they could and should), essentially treating wife-beating as a “victimless crime.”
Bishop Thomas W. Weeks, III crossed the line that even Georgia will not tolerate: He was wearing shoes when he kicked his wife. That’s a felony. Besides that, he committed the acts publicly and on video surveillance tape. He also threatened to kill her, which is another Georgia felony.
The abused wife, Prophetess Juanita Bynum, is an internationally acclaimed televangelist and best-selling author who empowers Christian women with her preaching. Church members say that couple of weeks before the attack, Weeks announced that Bynum would no longer be preaching at the church they founded.
Bynum is pressing charges against Weeks and seeking to end the marriage. Attorneys for Weeks say he will contest the divorce on the grounds that she was cruel. The strangest part of this story is not that the man who kicked and stomped his wife is contesting the divorce or fighting the charges; that happens all the time. What is so bizarre is where this man was just a few days after the beating: He was behind his pulpit telling his congregation that the devil made him do it.
Finally, a preacher is talking about domestic violence! If only his congregation had responded with a resounding movement down the aisle – and right out the church door. No one should sit under the teaching of a wife-beater. The elders should have stripped this man of his title and never let him behind the pulpit again.
T. D. Jakes, the famous televangelist who helped bring Bynum to power, condemned violence against women in a written statement two weeks after the attack. He pointed out that every day, four American men murder their wives or girlfriends, resulting in 1,400 deaths per year. That’s an FBI statistic. He also mentioned that over half a million cases of intimate assault are reported each year. Most cases go unreported. According to the most conservative estimates, between 2,000,000 and 4,000,000 women are battered each year. In 1990, the U.S. had 3,800 shelters for animals, and only 1,500 shelters for battered women.
Other Christian leaders even try to blame the victims. Christian author Gillis Triplett claims that there are thirteen traits common to abused wives, including “THEY LOVE THE DRAMA!” (Emphasis his.) Evangelical leaders John MacArthur and James Dobson have both gone on record stating that women must be careful not to “provoke” abuse. In the 1996 printing of “Love Must Be Tough,” Dobson told a story about a woman who was physically beaten by her husband. Dobson concluded that the woman “baited” her husband to hit her so that she could show off her black eye, which he calls her “prize.”
Following the advice and example of such leaders, thousands of pastors regularly dismiss domestic violence and send women back into dangerous situations. With “saving the marriage” as the highest aim, these pastors seek to prevent divorce at all costs. Women receive the subtle message that their pain – or even their lives -- are not as important as keeping the marriage intact.
One woman told a victims’ support group how she took her children and fled the state in fear of her life. Her church responded by sending her a letter of ex-communication.
In the introduction to her new book "Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence,” Jocylen Andersen states that "The practice of hiding, ignoring, and even perpetuating the emotional and physical abuse of women is ... rampant within evangelical Christian fellowships and as slow as our legal systems have been in dealing with violence against women by their husbands, the church has been even slower." The Christian wife abuse cover-up is every bit as evil as the Catholic sex abuse cover-up.
Christian leaders set the stage for domestic violence by perpetuating pop-culture stereotypes of femininity and masculinity. T. D. Jakes claims in his book “Woman, Thou Art Loosed” that all women were created to fulfill the vision of some man. Jakes bases his gender theology solely on the physical characteristics of male and female genitalia, insisting that all women are “receivers” and all men are “givers.” This false dichotomy breaks down quickly when one considers that female sexuality includes giving birth and giving milk. More importantly, Jakes deviates from Scripture in claiming that women and men must operate like their genitalia in every facet of life.
John MacArthur also does his part to set the stage for female subjugation. He calls the women’s movement “Satanic.” In a sermon called “God’s Design for a Successful Marriage: The Role of the Wife” MacArthur blames working women for everything from smog to prison overcrowding. As an antidote, he offers this quote from Charles Haddon Spurgeon on the disposition of a godly wife toward her husband: “He is her little world, her paradise, her choice treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him.”
Finally, consider Paige Patterson, president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Patterson recently dismissed Hebrew professor Sheri Klouda, simply because she was female. He claims the Bible does not allow women to instruct men. Patterson then launched a new major at the seminary: Homemaking. Only women are allowed to take these courses, which focus on childcare, cooking and sewing -- as well as a woman’s role in marriage. The courses are taught by Patterson’s wife, who is the only surviving female in the school’s 42-person theology faculty.
Considering Patterson’s view of women, we should not be surprised at his response to domestic violence. Participating in a panel on “How Submission Works in Practice,” Patterson tells abused wives to do three things: Pray for their husbands, submit to them, and “elevate” them. He admits that this advice sometimes leads to beatings, but also claims that the men eventually get saved. Apparently, it’s only the men that matter.
Pastors who truly want to help people and save marriages should stop attacking feminism. Instead, teach couples never to hit, choke, kick, threaten or verbally batter their spouse. Preach against domestic violence from your pulpit. Help abuse victims to escape their batterers – permanently. Encourage them to press charges so that justice can be served.
Pastors, if you want to defend marriage, set an example of a loving relationship. Instruct couples to live in a way that makes their spouse want to stay with them. It really does not take a six-tape series to teach the number one tool of a successful marriage: the golden rule.
-- Jeannie Babb Taylor
www.JeannieBabbTaylor.com
This piece was published several months ago in Catoosa County News, Walker County News, and Ethics Daily, a publication of the Baptist Center for Ethics. Dr. Klouda is currently bringing a lawsuit against Patterson for her discriminatory firing. I wish her well.
With so many divorces and break ups going on, we have a real challenge keeping our outlook positive as this economy sours. I want to help everyone stay together whenever possible.
Posted by: | April 23, 2009 at 09:31 AM
As a christian I don't believe that anyone should get away with abusing anyone and thus agree that when pastors and elders minimize abuse and look the other way, they directly disobey scriptures that speak of confronting sin, of the man's duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her, etc. Many non believers do not know that the bible, which is the standard for the christian, instructs that someone who is choosing to continue in willful sin, a category an unrepentant wife beater would definitely fall into, is to be confronted and if he does not deal with issue in an upright way, confront him with witnesses and if he still doesn't repent, he is to be publicly disfellowshipped until such a time as he repents. Part of our problem in our churches today is not treating God's word as if it is to be obeyed and not merely debated and preached. Scripture also upholds the rule of law which means its not wrong to charge someone guilty of unrepentant lawlessness. Christians are also to defend the defenseless.
However, I feel your comments about Dr. James Dobson are inaccurate. I have a copy of the book you mention and just finished reading it yesterday, and Dr. Dobson goes to some lengths to emphasize that in the majority of domestic abuse cases, the woman did nothing to create or invite the abuse and its the guy who has a serious problem. He further emphasizes that it is not okay and that there is no excuse for it whatsoever. He then, and only then, goes on to say that some women do intentionally provoke abuse and then use it to prove to all what a cad her husband is, as a form of revenge. Two wrongs do not make a right. Such a person would be attempting to reenact childhood abuse in an attempt to seek justice and healing, albeit in a really unhealthy way. Hasn't anyone ever heard of repetition compulsion? Trauma re enactment? Of the payoff of victimhood? Yes, there is a payoff of some sort to even the most dyfunctional arrangement and part of becoming whole is facing that too.
It is not only possible to choose a partner who will allow us to relive the ugly pain and drama from our pasts, but it is also possible, if one is detmermined, to draw someone else into cooperating with a dysufnctional agenda. Each is still responsible for their own actions and no one is excused from wrong actions, but the fact this, this dynamic does exist in some cases. thanks for considering my persepctive.
Posted by: going on | February 12, 2010 at 05:13 PM
Fight the real enemy sister.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y7Ruan6xOI&feature=related
Posted by: Mark | July 29, 2010 at 07:16 PM