So, why are there more women than men in church on Sunday?
Is it simply because there are more women in the general population? Actually, that's part of it. But, I think there are more reasons than that. Today I'll share one of them, and tomorrow, another one.
I called the clerics cowards who accused women of "feminizing" the church.
And, I think that most of them are, because if they took an honest look at the situation, they'd know that the church hasn't been feminized. It may have been trivialized, diluted, and distorted. But, feminized? Women haven't had the power or opportunity to feminize anything. But it's easier for a coward to find someone else to blame. Since women don't have much power in church, they are safe ones to blame.
Women actually want the same things from church that men do, quality. Mary sat at Jesus' feet, not because she was some weird aberrant female, but because she dared to be fully human. Ministers who are honest with themselves, and give themselves enough thinking and praying time for reality to make it through their schedules should be able to realize that.
If your church is mostly a social club, and you think providing "manly" social opportunities is the way to go, then forget about the whole feminizing thing, because your problem is much deeper than which gender frequents your establishment.
So, why is it, if it's not just gender demographics, that when it's really not very good preaching, women will go to church anyway when men will outright refuse? One reason has to do with what lousy and lazy preachers do when they don't have a good sermon. They put the congregation through an emotional wringer. They substitute jerking the listeners around, which will get them an emotional response, for getting the attentive response they'd get if the sermon was actually interesting. It's a dirty preacher trick.
Christian women, for reasons I explain in chapter 18 of my book in progress, have learned to substitute vicarious experience for the real thing. We've encouraged that by providing them with tons of trashy "christian" books, and plenty of guilt and fear of being fully functioning human beings. There's a lot of sublimation going on, including substitution of manipulated emotion for free and honest emotion.
Women will sit and listen to the tear jerking horror stories of bad preachers because they, unlike men, don't have opportunities to be fully engaged as human beings. It's not nice, might make waves, be unsubmitted, be too brash--and fears that are vague and unformed, but that keep them stifled and fenced in.
Women go because they are hungry, and for more than just emotional stimulation. They are hungry for someone to admire. More about that tomorrow.
Pat Gundry
http://www.patriciagundry.com
Great article. This piece is very quotable:
"Women actually want the same things from church that men do, quality. Mary sat at Jesus' feet, not because she was some weird aberrant female, but because she dared to be fully human."
Posted by: Jeannie | July 28, 2006 at 09:48 PM