Fem Speakers

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I love what you say, and I love how you say it. It's so true, this "marriage is bliss" and everyone should be in it stuff from people who obviously aren't well married. Maybe it's more "misery loves company" than anything else. It seems to be universal too, like some loose end that needs to be tied up or the culture will somehow tip out of balance.

It amazes me how much our culture clings to the ideal of marriage, when it's so clearly an outdated concept. At one time in western history, people got married so that they could form survival-based partnerships: I'll work the land and produce our food and income, you raise the children and keep a roof over our heads. In that kind of marriage, romantic love was a luxury.

Now, most of us are fully capable of operating independently, and we're jolly unclear about what marriage is really for in the modern age. Too many people making legal, (supposedly) lifetime commitments over a few vague ideals of "perfect connection."

In reality, human interaction is both glorious and messy. Relationships are lovely, and a pain in the ass. And life is filled with interesting things to see, do, and become. I so agree with you; how much more could we all accomplish if we'd just get over the whole marriage thing, already?

I just read your article at a point in my life where all my friends are getting married or else settling for relationships that obviously will not fulfill them later on. I've been single for a year since the end of a 4-year relationship, and am so grateful for the peace and contentment I find in my singledom. I don't envy my engaged friends. At 25, I feel like there is still so much for me to learn and experience, and I don't want to feel vulnerable to the nagging social conception that marriage is a must-have. If I can succeed in ignoring the deluded frame of thinking that marriage is the ultimate goal in life, I think I'll better enjoy all the blessings I already have, including any relationship that may come into my life minus the pressure of forcing it to be an everlasting commitment. Love is a privilege, and marriage should be a stepping stone in the growth of that love, not a commercialized status symbol that ostracizes singles and causes us to frantically "settle down" and settle for less, when life is much too short to let singledom be a hazard instead of an opportunity.

All the spinsters I know are vegans. Maybe this a vestige of our hunter-gatherer days; some women just didn't have a hunter in their life.

Thank you.

At 33, single, and being a savvy, professional woman with a great deal to offer, I cannot understand why finding a meaningful relationship with a man of personal substance has been the hardest and most unsuccessful element of my life.

I'm just enjoying what I have in my life and being grateful for it as it stands now.

So what if I don't fit in or don't find the romantic love I would like to have? I'm really sick and tired of the advice, looks of disbelief and the territoriality of women who would rather this 'competitor' wasn't around.

Make of this life what you can, it (and the conundrum of being alone when you don't deserve it or don't want to be on your own) won't be around for ever.

There are LGBT people who oppsoe gay marriage. If Stonewall set out to promote the the opinions of all LGBT people they'd soon find they had set themselves an impossible task. There are many different strands to LGBT equality and each individual LGBT person puts a different priority on each of them. If stonewall are content to pick up _any_ of these strands and further them then I value their work. Energy can be directed at attacking the establishments and individuals making concerted efforts to ensure no strands are picked up at all. To see this energy direced at attacking an organsiation helping further equalty strands, and not at those directly opposing them, makes me rather sad.

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