Redemption of Worship

I finally figured out why christian worship bothers me more than the sermons do. At least, in the sermons, if you disagree with something, you can make a mental note of that and email the pastor later. And you are free to disagree, because, after all, you, as a baptist, hold very strongly to the "priesthood of believer"/"liberty of soul" sorta thing.

I suppose you could always email the worship leader too, about the music she didn't compose, the lyrics she had nothing to do with except for selecting them and putting them in the bulletin. But then you sort of stop in your tracks. Because you know that she's really just trying to match the theme of the equally disagreeable sermon, AND keep everybody happy - people who want to turn the church into the christian rock'n'heavy metal shouting match, and people who only want to sing the medieval hymns, and for whom "Amazing Grace" is the height of moderniety. Then there's also the crowd who isn't happy with anything, the music snobs (often in spite of being tone deaf themselves), and who only want to see the top notch music and singing, because they are embarassed to bring their friends into a place where the lyrics are mediocre at best, and the music barely passes for an attempt at art. Then there are those who measure every worship service by whether or not they "feel" the "anointing" or "Spirit" - and if the "feeling" isn't there, they take it to mean that God departed from the church, and they go to, always chasing that elusive "feeling" that they glimpsed before. Then there are people who pride themselves on being "inclusive" or eclecitc, and they would like everything from everywhere: pentecostal hand clapping and food stomping, black gospel, anglican liturgy, christian pop, U2, Evanescence, Jars of Clay, obscure weird hymns (Adam lay ibounden, anyone?), and Mozart. Give them a stab at church worship, and the service would look like a tuna casserole with asparagus, M&Ms, lavender honey, coffe grounds and strawberries. Then there are the weirdos, those who could easily incorporate Leonard Cohen, Goo Goo dolls and Beatles into the liturgy. So you think of emailing the worship leader ... but then decide your annoyance is minor compared to her challenges, and you let it slide.

But then, you are sort of stuck in your pew, holding your hymnal, and everybody around you is closing their eyes and "worshipping" and looking real taken with the experience, or at the very least respectfully joyful, and you just think, "That actually makes people more worshipful? Why? Do they stop and think about the words, the lyrics, about WHAT they are singing? Do they AGREE with it?"

Part of me really wants to plead with the worship leaders everywehre: "Don't be concerned about making EVERYBODY happy. Just worry about making God happy." But then I realize that it's not that simple. After all, when is God happy? When we us this style over that style, or make sure to use a little bit of everything? Or when we carry the tune perfectly? I don't know. But I do know that God isn't made happy by his children fighting over worship, or criticizing each other harshly.

The way I see it, a partial answer is in simply giving each and every one of God's children a voice. Have a set time for sharing of the things that move you, speak to you, and encourage you, with the entire congregation, not just your women's sewing group over breakfast. Very hard to do in a church of 1100 members and 2000 attending every week... But what's the alternative? Few people making the decision based on what is least likely offend most people (or people with most money)?

The way I also see it is that sometimes we just need to simply accept that our worship will always have deep flaws and dark spots on it, and hope and strive for redemption of it.

Sometimes I find myself singing a hymn that was sung by crusaders as they herded my people into synagogues and set them on fire. Sometimes, the famous hymn written by someone who wanted to strip my people of their holy books, and their property, and turn them into slaves, because they were "stubborn" and wouldn't "repent". As I sing, I realize that most of the nice Baptist people around me have no idea what those hymns mean to me, or the images they bring to my mind. To them, they seem to be just eloquent expessions of Christian faith. When I sing, I think of my people dying by thousands and millions. MY PEOPLE. People like me. I think about pogroms and crusades and burning synagogues. Sometimes, I think of my Jewish grandfather narrowly escaping from a burning tank in World War II. And for some reason, I think of the Jewish volunteer who was run out of the shelter program in our church by some christian nut, who felt "uncofmortable" with a non-Christian volunteering during overnight shifts.

Still, I find beauty in those hymns, beauty that shines even through the ugliness of human crimes. I can't forget the history of those songs, but I can allow their beauty to speak to me.

We speak of redemption of the secular culture - but what about the redemption of the Christian culture? Redemption of our worship? Maybe some of this redemption can begin within, not with trying to change what others around us are singing, but simply listening to what our own spirit is saying to us in the privacy of our own self, and addressing our thoughts, concerns and hopes to God.

Galina, the eclectic, inclusive, weird, tone deaf music snob.

Comments

[Pat Gundry]

I've had some of the same experiences in church, thinking the "worship" part contrived and manipulative, even invasive.

After all, worship is personal, between the individual and God, and I've always thought the hymn that goes, "My God and I go in the fields together, we walk and talk as good friends...," expresses what worship really means.

Historically, and now as well, many churches have tried to create a physical environment that prompts and enhances private worship, allowing eveyone to bring to the environment whatever they carry with them, and experience it inwardly in their own way.

As a Baptist, those environments, thought often beautiful, seem contrived to me. Though I understand many people find them useful and satisfying.

But, I totally agree, that it's something we bring there, and create within ourselves, and it's private.

As for the hymns,I don't have the Jewish background to remind me, but, I've read enough history to know that many of my own ancestors, suffered at the hands of "Christian" invaders who were not Christian at all in how they subjugated and "converted" many of their religious conquests.

Many of those beautiful hymn tunes come from Pagan Welsh hymns, their original poetic lyrics replaced by Christian's choices of words. And, many other pagan hymns were evidently lost forever through the misplaced zeal of Christians who considered them evil.

Sometimes as I listen to them and see their generic hymn names, I wonder what those who originally wrote them were saying, how they felt, and what their lyrics said. I imagine those beautiful Welsh choirs and soloists singing passionately their own message in their own way. And I wish they had been allowed to continue and be preserved for their and our sakes.

[Dorcas]

"...they would like everything from everywhere: pentecostal hand clapping and food stomping, black gospel, anglican liturgy, christian pop, U2, Evanescence, Jars of Clay, obscure weird hymns (Adam lay ibounden, anyone?), and Mozart. Give them a stab at church worship, and the service would look like a tuna casserole with asparagus, M&Ms, lavender honey, coffe grounds and strawberries.." I am laughing out loud here, because that really is me, and if I could have my way that is what I'd do...and I'd be in church by myself, no doubt. You know, planning a worship service is MUCH harder than it used to be. It used to be, at least in Baptist or Baptist-type churches, we knew exactly what to expect. There was a piano on one side of the platform and an organ on the opposite side. There was often a choir. There was a hymnal, and there were usually four hymns.

Now, even the Lutherans down the road are struggling to have both contemporary and traditional music. And I am struggling to get our worhsip leader to just include ONE traditional hymn once in a while.

Sigh.

Nonetheless, there are times I know we have worshipped. In spirit and in truth. I wish I could formulize what makes that happen...but I can't.

[Mary]

Yeah, worship WAY too often becomes a spectator sport, with pewside quarterbacks second-guessing every "play." (rolling eyes)

The REALLY tricky thing is to make worship what it ought to be, and that is a CORPORATE experience. NO spectators permitted! Like it or not, all present lay their lives before the Living God and encounter what that awesome One has to communicate to us all.

(Like I've EVER, even ONCE, experienced such a service! But quite a few have come close, and it's still the goal I advocate in worship planning.)

Galina, you are correct about where the redemption of worship begins: in the human heart and soul. I can't change how anyone else plans or (non)participates in worship, but I *can* permit God to remake my heart and shake up my soul.

Thank you for posting this. It spoke to me.