Having been homeless once, I’ll never look at the poor neighborhoods and slums the same way again. I can’t, in all fairness, dismiss their inhabitants as lazy, or stupid, or morally deficient. I look at those houses with cracks in the walls, mold and dirt, rats and mice surrounding them, and think: take away my job, my health, my family, and my friends… and there, for the grace of God go I. It’s scary to realize that I am not better than those people, I’m just luckier.
But I must admit, when I look at those decaying slums, those rundown buildings, and dilapidated old motels, sometimes, the strangest little things give me hope. Like when I see a flower in a pot on the window sill.
It means there’s life. It means people care for something other than themselves, something that’s just THERE, for no good reason. It means, not everything is judged solely on the basis of its practical usefulness. And that, to me, means hope.
Sometimes, I play a “what if” game with myself. “What if I lost everything and had to live in a place like that. Could I survive? What would I do?”
I mentally list all the things I would do to survive.
I would wash and disinfect the walls and the floors. I would bring in a mean and hungry stray cat to scare away mice and roaches. I would buy a bus pass so that I could travel to pick up food and meals from food banks. I would wash my clothes by hand, and hang them to dry inside the apartment. I would gather up some money for a simple electric heater for winter. In case of leaks, I would seal cracks in the walls, ceiling and/or appliances and pipes with cheap Home Hardware goop.
I would keep a charged cell phone under my pillow. I would not have any “plan” on it, so that I wouldn’t be paying for it, but it would still be good to dial 911. I would always keep my documents in a church, and only have photocopies at home.
I would cook simply, and cheaply.
I would buy a box of cookie mix for $1.99 and bake a batch of cookies. Then I would bring them around the neighboring apartments and make friends. I’ll make sure that I have at least two or three friends near me – people I can trust, and people who will trust me.
I would not be embarrassed to invite people from a church, or elsewhere, to come over to my place. I would look them in the eye, and not be ashamed.
Oh, and I would get a flower in a pot, and put it in the window. That’s a given.
Galina Freed
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