What to Buy a Complementarian for Christmas

Wondering what to buy a complementarian* for Christmas? 

May I suggest the all new  X-NIV Gender-Exclusive Bible**!  This new comp-friendly Bible features all those verses that Paul accidentally left out, including:

• "The man is the head of the house."
• "A man is king of his castle."
• "Husbands must take priority over children in a wife's life."
• "Men need sex every 48-hours."

and other truisms that you've always known MUST be in the Bible, but couldn't quite put your finger on! 

Cover choices include John Deere green with yellow lettering, Pigskin with your manly-man's name stitched football style, Nothin' But Net (texturized rubber in any NBA team color!), Fast-Pitch (white with red stitching), and new WWF Wrestlemania.  (Sorry, but soccer styling is not available.  Every manly-man knows that soccer is not a real sport.) 

The X-NIV Gender-Exclusive Bible includes index, concordance, and year-round sports schedules for all your favorite teams.  Features a specialized complementarian Bible dictionary giving definitions for words such as "likewise" that so many in this feminized culture just do not understand.  Handy "Submission Reference Guide" in back keeps all those important verses on wifely submission right at his finger tips!  Comes with complementary SI Swimsuit Edition.

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*Don't know what a complementarian is?  See www.cbmw.org to read their claims.  See http://www.equalitycentral.com/ for a different (more reciprocal) take on gender issues.

**No, this is not a real product.  This blog article is a spoof.  I write this because I know that some folks are satire-impaired and will email me wanting to buy this "Bible."

Comments

[Mary]

LOL!

Jeannie, this is the niche bible to end all niche bibles! I can't stop laughing.

Oh, wait...don't I recall that a publishing company closely related to a certain large denomination has published a deliberately gender-exclusive bible? Maybe you could pitch your marketing ideas to them. After all, it's evangelically popular to claim that men need a "man's bible" instead of a "feminized" gender-accurate Bible. Perhaps, with the Pigskin model in hand, the men so providentially rescued from feminization might actually read it.

Oh, but be sure, for their sakes, to "forget" to print verses such as Eph. 5:21 and Gal. 3:28, since they're too "feminized" to really be part of a manly man's bible.

[Ashleigh]

Jeannie, this is so like you... love it!